The Queer Variety Show
The Queer Variety Show is a variety show that features Queer/SGLGBTIQA+ and Disabled (includes, chronic illness, mental illness, neurodivergent) people, with the occasional ally.
A map showing where Smith's Alternative is.
We are located on Ngnunnawal/Ngambri country, otherwise known as Canberra, Australia.
The show is held at Smith's Alternative in Civic.
76 Alinga Street, Canberra City.
By clicking on the information below, it will take you directly to
that part of my website.
Shows for 2026
For our shows we create a range of access elements to help make our shows as accessible as possible. This is a lot of work for the production team and work that we don't get paid for. So in order to keep running our shows in a sustainable way, so that we can manage and so that we don't have to cut back on the amount of shows, which would mean less opportunities for performers and other helpers, we will be doing our shows a bit differently in 2026.
We will have 'Bells and Whistles' shows which will have as many access elements that we can make and provide for you. This will include:-
* Low sensory sound and lighting
* Shows on weekend days in the afternoons.
* An Auslan Interpreter
* Performer introductions are read out and projected onto a screen.
* Lyrics to songs that are performed to are made into film clips with lyrics projected onto a screen.
* If possible we provide the words to poems and similar pieces in large print.
* Simple, large print programs are provided.
* We have a system where audience members who can't move around easily can raise a flag and get help from one of our crew. This might be for things like entering our competitions or getting something from the bar for you.
* We film every show and make it available for people who cannot attend, for a short time after the show.
The other shows we will hold will be our 'Stripped back' shows. They won't include as many of the access elements above. They will include:-
* Low sensory sound and lighting.
* Shows on weekend days in the afternoons.
* Simple, large print programs.
* Flags for audience members to get help from a QVS crew member.
* We film every show and make it available for people who cannot attend, for a short time after the show.
In addition to all of these things, the venue itself is reasonably accessible (more accessible than many of the old buildings in Canberra. We can also walk people to their cars or transport if they feel unsafe (less of a concern in the day time).
Show dates for 2026.
(end times to be confirmed with each show, longer shows will have more performers)
5th July - Bells and Whistles show - 3pm to 5-30 pm - Disability Pride Month special.
29th August - Stripped Back show - 3pm to 5pm
18th October - Stripped Back show - 3pm to 5-30pm
5th December - Bells and Whistles Show - 3pm to 5-30pm
5th July 2026 - Bells and Whistles show
Come along to our second show of the year, at the afternoon, matinee time of 3pm. This show is a special show as we celebrate Disability Pride Month, with all performers identifying as disabled. This show is a 'Bells and Whistles' show. (see above for information on what that means).
We also acknowledge that this is the first day of NAIDOC week.
The Queer Variety Show features SBLGBTIQA+/Queer and Disabled performers and the occasional ally.
We ask that you consider wearing a mask as this helps keep people safe - many people who perform or come to our shows have chronic illnesses and they catch lurgies very easily.
Also, wheel chair users, we heard you after our last show and we will do our best to improve things for you. We will put aside space where you will be more protected from the crowd of people. We will bring you in before the rest of the audience and we will give you little flags, which you can raise throughout the show if you need any assistance from us. It would be great if you could arrive early, so that we can do this to help you out.
At this show we will have:
Mena Paws - as emcee and she will be doing an act. Ginger Nibbles (burlesque), Mamma MadB (drag deity), Ashtray Moonay (drag queen), Lulu Venom (burlesque), Kaotic Dezires (drag/singer) Temerity Outrè (burlesque), Dread Sexy (burlesque), Sweet Az (singer songwriter), Thomas Weaver (Singer/songwriter) and The Lost Larrikin (singer/songwriter).
Tickets on sale from Smith's Alternative. Here
Performers in the 5th July show
.Mena Paws (she/her) - Emcee and an act
selfie
She’s often cranky and she’s always sweary. She’s the librarian you feared when you were 8, but she’s also your favourite Aunty. She sits on the line of being un-PC but she has a heart of gold. She’s a proud Gen X-er, but has no time for privileged, ‘Karen’s’. Closer to 60 than 50, she believes in body positivity for everyone, and isn’t afraid to get her kit off. If you tell her age is just a number, she will remind you that you are most likely a foetus and have no idea, but she loves younger generations and believes they will save us.
She likes beautiful gardens and prefers ladies to plough her garden. She’s dopamine dressing yet loves a great goth outfit. Her style icons are Iris Apfel, Kath Day-Knight and Lady Danbury.
She's the Founder and Producer of The Queer Variety Show.
She’s a proud queer and disabled person and in 2022 she won the Chief Minister’s Inclusion Award for Excellence in Making Inclusion Happen. In 2024 she won Entertainer of the Year, in Mx Burlesque Australia, placing 2nd runner up, or Entertainer of the Year. She was First Runner up, in The ApprenTease ACT 2026.
Kaotic Dezires (they/them)
Selfie
Welcome to meeting Kaotic Dezires, an eancient toybox of unwanted things, filled with tales told by toys we discard as mere playthings.
Be engulfed into the madness of what dwells in the deep crevices of the mind, be lured down paths less travelled, be embraces with the evil of love that only toys can bring. Prepare for a restless slumber.
Lulu Venom (they/she/he)
Photo by Olivia Leigh
Don’t let the shy, soft and innocent appearance fool you - Lulu Venom is fierce, confident and an embodiment of a bratty, filthy slut.
Under the plastic, hyperpop, bubblegum pink aesthetics, it lies the nerve to unapologetically celebrate bimbo culture: where hyperfemininity is power, sexuality is self-owned, and “slut” is a badge of honour.
Prepare to be hot and bothered, inspired, empowered, with the room steamy and your jaws on the floor.
Velvet Garnet (she/her)
Photo by Robin Ng
She is the very model of a modern disabilibabe. Whether neo-classic, nerdlesque, or mining history for striptease material, this Tease-Able original loves to bring her sense of humour and put the tea in WTF. Black and white and red hot all over, it's Velvet Garnet!
Temerity Outrè (she/her)
Photo by Empress Eyrie
Temerity Outrè rolls through life, enjoying every experience after almost losing it all. Mama to many by day, a voluptuous temptress by night, time spent with her is always a wheely good time. Ever ready with a bright smile, this babe with a mobility aid is ready to share her joy, challenge your preconceptions, and tantalise your senses.
Sweet Az (she/her)
photo by Stephanie Stephens
SweetAz is a singer/songwriter/dabbling-comedian here to monopolise your time with her sad girl songs and cut the tension with a little bit of irreverent humour.
Ginger Nibbles (she/her)
Photo by Empress Eyrie
She’s a little bit spicy and very sweet, can you handle the energy and joy that is Ginger Nibbles? A proud disabled woman from Darumbal Country, Ginger Nibbles is a fan of dance and getting her gear off, so of course she loves burlesque!
When she’s not shaking her bits on stage, Ginger can be found flinging her clothes off and jumping in the lake, nerding out over numbers, and enjoying all kinds of music. A graduate of Tease-Able dance with Empress Eyrie, Ginger Nibbles is pleased to bring her brand of burlesque to the world.
Thomas Weaver (they/them)
selfie
Thomas Weaver sings folk, old and new, accompanied by gorgeous octave mandolin and cello, singing about joy, love, inclusiveness, understanding, courage, and laughter.
Non-binary, neurodivergent Thomas will beguile you with dulcet tones, taking you places where you can see the wonder of the world we live in and the beauty of the people around us.
Don’t be surprised if you leave this act feeling better about yourself, the world, and your place in it.
Dread Sexy (she/her)
Photo by CanberraStreetsColour
A multidisciplinary dancer with 30 years experience performing, Dread Sexy brings to the stage her creativity, dynamic skills and pink…so so much pink. After an almost 2 year hiatus due to a severe medical emergency and recovery please join us in welcoming Dread Sexy back to the burlesque stage.
The Lost Larrikin
Photo by photos_by_a_martian
The Lost Larrikin goes by he/they pronouns. He is a proud disabled, trans masc storyteller, performer, artists and activist, born and raised on Ngnunnawal/Ngambri land. He likes to perform a mix of original songs and covers, mostly somewhere in the genre space of folk-adjacent indie-pop.
Accessibility
Canberra does not have many accessible and affordable venues to host events at. We acknowledge this and we are doing our best to add accessible elements wherever possible. We receive no funding to do this. Our show is run on the amount of tickets sold, and our performers are prioritised as far as payment is concerned. Each show has several volunteers that help us run it. The producers are rarely paid for their many hours of effort.
If there is anything you think we can do to improve accessibility, please let us know and we will do our best. Nigel and Beth the owners of Smith's Alternative are very supportive and do some parts of hosting a show, which adds to the accessbility of the show for the producers. Nigel and Beth are nearly always around to help out which is also very helpful.
Film Clips
The following is film clips of the venue for purposes of accessibility. Watching these may cause motion sickness for some. Photos coming soon for folks who can't access the film clips. Pardon the shakiness in parts, that's my disability in action.
Clicking on the links (which are underlined) will take you to a new tab, and a clip on You Tube.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
This toilet is more accessible than the downstairs toilet for mobility aid users. In most cases there will be a show or an event on upstairs, so you can go on up there. However there might be times when there is no event. Ask the bar staff before heading up, just in case.
For performers these films will be of use, however I have a separate clip specifically for you, which I am not going to list here, as it shows backstage area of Smith's Alternative. I can send you a link if you email me.
If you are unable to watch film clips, there are photographs below with information.
Entering the building and event room where the Queer Variety show is held.
This is the entry into Smith's Alternative. There is a small wooden ramp. The door opens inwards.
Image Description: A doorway with brown wooden doors and a big long brass handle. One door is open. The ground on the outside of the doorway is tiled. There is a small wooden ramp leading up to the door opening.
This is just inside the main door entry of Smith's Alternative. To the left is the bar area, to the right is an area with some couches. There is a step up to the area with the couches. The main door to the toilets is at the back of the room. The door/entry into another room is just past this entry to the right. This area can get quite congested just before an event.
Image description: A room with a bar on the left and some furniture on the right. The floor is black and white Lino.
This is the entry to the room where many shows are held. The person who checks peoples tickets, usually stands at a small table to the left of this doorway when you enter.
Image description: To the right is a wall with lots of posters on it and furniture in front of it. Looking through the doorway, there is a bunch of chairs and a small step up to the left. The stage with a screen down is just visible.
Image description: A room with an array of different chairs and tables. There is a red bit of floor to the right, this is a gentle ramp going up to the side of the stage. The stage is in the distance, there is a screen hanging down on the stage.
This is an overall view of the main show space, just after you walk through the door. Not quite visible is an area that is slightly raised to the left, with and array of seating and tables. To the right there is also an array of seating, including many couches and soft seating.
Seating can be and is arranged differently depending on what event is being held and how many tickets are sold. If sold out, the seating is usually in rows and fairly jam packed. In the right of this image there is a red ramp.
Wheel chair users can go up the red ramp and sit facing it. The furniture behind them is usually arranged in rows, all facing the ramp (facing the stage).
Image description: A room with a bunch of chairs on the left, a red ramp to the right of the chairs and further furniture next to the red ramp.
Getting to the downstairs toilets
To get to the toilets, you go through the red door in the first room, that the bar is in. This is not accessible to mobility aid users, as there are three steps on the other side of it.
Image description: An image of a room that has a black and white checked Lino floor. There is a wall on the left with some furniture and other furniture and some curtains on the right. In the middle of the photo is a red door with 'toilets' written on it.
To access the disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you go through the glass doors you will see a lift right in front of you, to the left of that is a some stairs to the right is a ramp with a red railing. This is where you go to access the disabled (and other) toilets.
Image description: A picture of a ramp that is the floor sloping downwards. The floor is dark grey and the wall is white, there is a red railing against the wall.
As you go down the ramp you will see the men's toilets on the left (there is a couple of steps down to them). At the bottom of the ramp you will see some steps ahead of you, this leads back into Smith's Alternative, to the left is the entry to the disabled toilet and the women's toilets. The door to the disabled toilet opens outwards.
Image description: A photo of a grey door, with white walls around it and a grey floor.
The accessible toilet is quite small and the corners that you need to turn to get into it are also quite narrow. Some people are not able to access it, due to the angles and the size of the toilet.
Image description: An accessible toilet room. The walls are white there is a white toilet on the left hand side of the room. There is a rail that starts behind the toilet and runs around to the left side of the toilet. Just visible is a hand washing basin on the left side of the image.
This is the side wall of the disabled toilet. You can just see the toilet in the bottom right hand side.
Image description: a photo of a toilet /bathroom. There is a white hand basin in the left corner, a rail that is along the wall, a sanitary bin and the edge of the toilet in the right corner.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
To access the upstairs disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you enter the glass doors there will be a lift in front of you.
The inside of the lift is small. Probably only a couple of metres square.
You may need to enter the lift forwards and back out, there is not much room in there to turn around. I was not about to take photos of the inside because it was too small.
Image description: A close up of two metal lift doors.
When you get out of the lift (on the first floor) you turn left. You go through the red door to get into the various upstairs Smith's Alternative venues. The door opens towards you. In most cases I expect that if the venue is open the door will also be open.
Image description:
An entry into a room. The floor is black and white checkered lino. The red door is opened outwards. You can see into a hall way. There is a small table against a wall with things on it and a picture hanging on the wall with a black camera tripod in front of it, directly after the open doorway, to the left there is a corridor.
The accessible toilet is along the corridor to the left. The door opens inwards. The room is spacious enough to go in and shut the door. There are railings next to the toilet and behind the toilet on the left.
Image description:
Looking into a toilet room. There is a dark coloured door on the left, which is open and against the wall. On the back wall of the white painted room, on the right is a toilet. Next to the toilet there is a wall with a railing. There is a railing on the left side of the toilet. In the left corner of the toilet is a chair.
This view is taken from standing near the toilet and facing the doorway and sink area. The sink is at a height for non disabled people. However it is not really high and is probably able to be reached from a seated position.
Image description:
A white sink in the corner of a public bathroom. Above it is a mirror. Next to the mirror on the right is a soap dispenser. On the wall that is next to the sink is a hand towel dispenser and below this is a sanitary bin.
Outside Area
This is the outside area of Smith's Alternative, it is directly in front of the venue, with a walk way in between. There is a step down, and a lot of the furniture is big and heavy. However, a mobility aid user could get in there by moving towards Northbourne Avenue (to the right of the image) and going 'around'.
Image description: a bunch of outdoor furniture, with some plants in the background, a large column in the right, top corner.
This is to the left hand side of the outdoor area at Smith's Alternative. As you can see it is open, with no barriers, this could be accessible to mobility aid users.
Image description: A large wooden table with bench chairs is in the right side of the photo. In the background there is paved ground and some garden beds and a road in the background.
What we are doing to make our show more accessible
We ask our audience to consider wearing masks, this makes the show a much safer place for many disabled people who are immunocompromised, or have chemical or other sensitivities. This particularly applies to the performers who often find it hard to wear a mask if they are wearing makeup.
We ask our audience not to wear perfumes, colognes or other types of scents, as many people have chemical sensitivities.
We do not play loud music before, during the break or after the show. We also have gentle lighting, before,during and after the show. This means the venue is low sensory.
You can wear what you want to our shows, as long as you are comfortable, there is no judgement - you can wear your oodie, or you can wear an evening gown. Whatever you like.
Shows are 'relaxed shows'. This means that you can get up and move around, stim, do whatever you need to do, during the show, even if someone is performing.
We offer to have someone or a group of people walk to your transport with you.
We have system whereby you can get help with entering our competitions, or giving feedback, or even buying you a drink (with your money!), if you can't move easily from your chair once the show has started. We use a signalling system for you to get help from one of our crew.
We often have free tickets for those who cannot afford a ticket - contact us if you would like one.
Smith's Alternative now has venues upstairs as well as at ground level. Mobility aid users can access both venues. The front door opens inwards. The furniture is able to be moved around, which means we can move it to accommodate our needs.
If you are a performer, there is a ramp that goes up onto the stage. To get to the toilets, it requires you to go up and down a few steps at the back of the venue OR you go out the front door to the left and then left again down a ramp which takes you to all the toilets.
I am told that not everyone can actually use the disabled toilet on the ground floor, due to the way the door opens and the angles. Some wheelchair users are known to visit a neighbouring venue to go to the toilet in the past.
The Queer Variety Show is held on the ground floor. There is an upstairs space now, with an accessible toilet. The upstairs spaces are accessible via a lift. I will provide information on the accessible toilet soon (need to go in and film and take photos). It is possible the upstairs loo is more accessible for some.
I don't know if what we do is considered Open Captions. We will be project some text onto a film screen. The text includes the performer introductions, so partly what the emcee is saying.
At each show we have a couple of large print programs, in plain english available.
From the 20th of May 2024, we will have an Auslan Interpreter at our shows. They will interpret what the emcee says, and most spoken word art forms. (we are currently in the process of organising the interpreter (have not 100% confirmed for the May show)