The Queer Variety Show
The Queer Variety Show is a variety show that features Queer/LGBTIQA+ and Disabled (includes, chronic illness, mental illness, neurodivergent) people, with the occasional ally.
A map showing where Smith's Alternative is.
We are located on Ngnunnawal/Ngambri country, otherwise known as Canberra, Australia.
The show is held roughly, bi monthly, at Smith's Alternative in Civic.
76 Alinga Street, Canberra City.
By clicking on the information below, it will take you directly to
that part of my website.
Unfortunately our previously advertised show, It's a King thing had to be cancelled. We apologise for any inconvenience. The performers booked for that are now in our I-Day show (below)
Next show is our I-Day Eve Show on the
2nd of December
Come celebrate International Day of People with Disabilities with the Queer Variety Show crew.
This is the last Queer Variety Show for the year and the culmination event of Temerity Outre's mentorship. We are going to have an amazing cast of disabled performers celebrating offering a range of performance styles including burlesque, live music and spoken word.
This is a relaxed show, feel free to wear whatever you are comfortable in, whether it be your Pjs or an evening gown. It also means you can move around during the show if you need to.
Please consider wearing a mask, to help make the environment safer for disabled people. Similarly, please refrain from wearing perfume/cologne, as some people are allergic to this.
Tickets from Smith's Alternative here. They are $20.
Our I-Day Performers
Temerity Outrè and Dread Sexy
Photo by Steph Benassi
Meeting in the first ever Tease-Able beginners class, these two disabilibabes have very different styles. Growing from strangers into Burlesque besties, these Queer Variety Show production team members and CBA alumni, both suffered health issues that made them think they would never get back on stage. But the fluttering of burly love never left, and we are pleased they both returned. It's Dread Sexy and Temerity Outre.
Magnus Magnum
PHoto by Canberra Streets
A man of many skills, he’ll dazzle you with circus stunts, enchant with his smooth songs, or sexy shenanigans to just leave you confused and aroused. Slick, smooth, and someone you won’t take home to your mum, but will brag about to your mates, make way for Magnus Magnum.
Rat Bastard
Photo by Nathan J Lester
Born to spread the plague, forced to shake tail onstage. Cocky, smug, and with considerable experience in the realm of bastardry and medicine? Rat Bastard is here to fail his health inspection.
Sparklemuffin
photo by Sparklemuffin (Megan Munro)
Sparklemuffin has been performing in one form or another for 20 years. Mostly drag and burlesque. They have mentored many performers, held drag king workshops and produced shows.
They are the founder of the Queer Variety Show, are the
current Mx Burlesque ACT, Entertainer of the Year and they won the Chief Minister’s Inclusion Award in 2022, for Excellence in Making Inclusion Happen.
They are a practising visual artist of about 30 years and have had many exhibitions. This performance piece is titled ‘Autistic Balloon Pop’ and is very different from anything they have done before. This piece might be uncomfortable for you to sit through, but Sparklemuffin invites you to do just this.
The piece is up for interpretation. The music was composed/made by Sparklemuffin. Sit and see what you see.
The making of this piece was supported by the ACT Government, through a Capital
of Equality Grant.
Mark Cooper
Photo by Melinda Cooper
Mark Cooper, a former musical child prodigy, has never met an instrument he can't play…apart from bagpipes. A life long lover of music, he was the reason why Temerity Outrè quit recorder group in primary school. He has been a DJ, in various metal bands, jazz bands and played with orchestras. But for I-Day, let him soothe with some soulful blues…
Nicci Carlsen
Nicci was created and born on Ngunnawal country. This is her spirit place. She is a wife, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, an aunty and a mother. She is also a writer, a singer, a painter and an eternal student, learning new things every day. She let's her feelings flow into words on a page which, at times, she chooses to share with other people.
Florian Blossoming and Dom Longwood
photo by Nathan J Lester
Florian Blossoming and Dom Longwood love challenging perceptions of society through art, dark burlesque, imagery and song.
Is there a war? What is it about? How do we fight? What is freedom worth to you? For others, for the future, for our children and their children to come. No matter who you are and what your experiences are being human on the planet, we are all, wild hearts.
Presenting Florian Blossoming and Dom Longwood.
Sweet Az
Photo by Stephanie Stevens
SweetAz is a singer/songwriter/dabbling-comedian here to monopolise your time with her sad girl songs and cut the tension with a little bit of irreverent humour.
Velvet Garnet
Photo by Empress Eyrie
Black and white and red hot all over.
Burlesque has so many dimensions - fun, alluring, nerdy, rhythmic, soothing…as well as just plain bizarre. This performer is trying them all! Well, except floor work because it takes her five minutes to get up again. What will this Queer Variety Show founder bring you for our I-Day special? You’ll find out when Velvet Garnet hits the stage
Ali Bi
Photo by Bec Fasson - Bad Cat Photography
AliBi is a performance artist with an eclectic array of styles including strip, sensual floor work, burlesque, drag and kink. AliBi thrives on sharing the embodied fusion of sensuality, story and sass combining multiple performance styles that will always keep you guessing.
Their sultry stare and threatening aura will leave you gagging to be stomped on, while their cheeky smile will lure you in to think they’ll play nice first (they won't).
Follow them on IG at @Ali_Bi__Art
Empress Eyrie - Emcee
photo by Empress Eyrie
The goddess of Badass.
Putting the dynamite in dynamic disability; able to do a cartwheel one day and not even put on her socks the next!
Mountain landscapes rise like the curve of her hips, her skin as smooth as quartz crystals. She is as serene as a rainforest, but just as dark, wild and untamed. A walking art gallery she wears her skin like a canvas and her heart on her sleeve. Sometimes strange, sometimes sensual, sometimes both, Empress Eyrie blends burlesque with performance art and storytelling to bring her soul to stages all over Australia.
The proud owner and teacher of Tease-Able Burlesque School, the world's first in person disability owned and focused burlesque school, she prides herself on making burlesque open and accessible for everybody. She adores being able to perform with her mobility aids and show the world that disabled people are sexy and deserve to be seen! Her commitment to accessibility and empowerment show the world inclusivity is liberation.
An experienced artist, proud disabilibabe and all round magical creature there is nothing routine about her routines.
Make way for the Empress…
Accessibility
Canberra does not have many accessible and affordable venues to host events at. We acknowledge this and we are doing our best to add accessible elements wherever possible. We receive no funding to do this. Our show is run on the amount of tickets sold, and our performers are prioritised as far as payment is concerned. Each show has several volunteers that help us run it. The producers are rarely paid for their many hours of effort.
If there is anything you think we can do to improve accessibility, please let us know and we will do our best. Nigel and Beth the owners of Smith's Alternative are very supportive and do some parts of hosting a show, which adds to the accessbility of the show for the producers. Nigel and Beth are nearly always around to help out which is also very helpful.
Film Clips
The following is film clips of the venue for purposes of accessibility. Watching these may cause motion sickness for some. Photos coming soon for folks who can't access the film clips. Pardon the shakiness in parts, that's my disability in action.
Clicking on the links (which are underlined) will take you to a new tab, and a clip on You Tube.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
This toilet is more accessible than the downstairs toilet for mobility aid users. In most cases there will be a show or an event on upstairs, so you can go on up there. However there might be times when there is no event. Ask the bar staff before heading up, just in case.
For performers these films will be of use, however I have a separate clip specifically for you, which I am not going to list here, as it shows backstage area of Smith's Alternative. I can send you a link if you email me.
If you are unable to watch film clips, there are photographs below with information.
Entering the building and event room where the Queer Variety show is held.
This is the entry into Smith's Alternative. There is a small wooden ramp. The door opens inwards.
Image Description: A doorway with brown wooden doors and a big long brass handle. One door is open. The ground on the outside of the doorway is tiled. There is a small wooden ramp leading up to the door opening.
This is just inside the main door entry of Smith's Alternative. To the left is the bar area, to the right is an area with some couches. There is a step up to the area with the couches. The main door to the toilets is at the back of the room. The door/entry into another room is just past this entry to the right. This area can get quite congested just before an event.
Image description: A room with a bar on the left and some furniture on the right. The floor is black and white Lino.
This is the entry to the room where many shows are held. The person who checks peoples tickets, usually stands at a small table to the left of this doorway when you enter.
Image description: To the right is a wall with lots of posters on it and furniture in front of it. Looking through the doorway, there is a bunch of chairs and a small step up to the left. The stage with a screen down is just visible.
Image description: A room with an array of different chairs and tables. There is a red bit of floor to the right, this is a gentle ramp going up to the side of the stage. The stage is in the distance, there is a screen hanging down on the stage.
This is an overall view of the main show space, just after you walk through the door. Not quite visible is an area that is slightly raised to the left, with and array of seating and tables. To the right there is also an array of seating, including many couches and soft seating.
Seating can be and is arranged differently depending on what event is being held and how many tickets are sold. If sold out, the seating is usually in rows and fairly jam packed. In the right of this image there is a red ramp.
Wheel chair users can go up the red ramp and sit facing it. The furniture behind them is usually arranged in rows, all facing the ramp (facing the stage).
Image description: A room with a bunch of chairs on the left, a red ramp to the right of the chairs and further furniture next to the red ramp.
Getting to the downstairs toilets
To get to the toilets, you go through the red door in the first room, that the bar is in. This is not accessible to mobility aid users, as there are three steps on the other side of it.
Image description: An image of a room that has a black and white checked Lino floor. There is a wall on the left with some furniture and other furniture and some curtains on the right. In the middle of the photo is a red door with 'toilets' written on it.
To access the disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you go through the glass doors you will see a lift right in front of you, to the left of that is a some stairs to the right is a ramp with a red railing. This is where you go to access the disabled (and other) toilets.
Image description: A picture of a ramp that is the floor sloping downwards. The floor is dark grey and the wall is white, there is a red railing against the wall.
As you go down the ramp you will see the men's toilets on the left (there is a couple of steps down to them). At the bottom of the ramp you will see some steps ahead of you, this leads back into Smith's Alternative, to the left is the entry to the disabled toilet and the women's toilets. The door to the disabled toilet opens outwards.
Image description: A photo of a grey door, with white walls around it and a grey floor.
The accessible toilet is quite small and the corners that you need to turn to get into it are also quite narrow. Some people are not able to access it, due to the angles and the size of the toilet.
Image description: An accessible toilet room. The walls are white there is a white toilet on the left hand side of the room. There is a rail that starts behind the toilet and runs around to the left side of the toilet. Just visible is a hand washing basin on the left side of the image.
This is the side wall of the disabled toilet. You can just see the toilet in the bottom right hand side.
Image description: a photo of a toilet /bathroom. There is a white hand basin in the left corner, a rail that is along the wall, a sanitary bin and the edge of the toilet in the right corner.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
To access the upstairs disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you enter the glass doors there will be a lift in front of you.
The inside of the lift is small. Probably only a couple of metres square.
You may need to enter the lift forwards and back out, there is not much room in there to turn around. I was not about to take photos of the inside because it was too small.
Image description: A close up of two metal lift doors.
When you get out of the lift (on the first floor) you turn left. You go through the red door to get into the various upstairs Smith's Alternative venues. The door opens towards you. In most cases I expect that if the venue is open the door will also be open.
Image description:
An entry into a room. The floor is black and white checkered lino. The red door is opened outwards. You can see into a hall way. There is a small table against a wall with things on it and a picture hanging on the wall with a black camera tripod in front of it, directly after the open doorway, to the left there is a corridor.
The accessible toilet is along the corridor to the left. The door opens inwards. The room is spacious enough to go in and shut the door. There are railings next to the toilet and behind the toilet on the left.
Image description:
Looking into a toilet room. There is a dark coloured door on the left, which is open and against the wall. On the back wall of the white painted room, on the right is a toilet. Next to the toilet there is a wall with a railing. There is a railing on the left side of the toilet. In the left corner of the toilet is a chair.
This view is taken from standing near the toilet and facing the doorway and sink area. The sink is at a height for non disabled people. However it is not really high and is probably able to be reached from a seated position.
Image description:
A white sink in the corner of a public bathroom. Above it is a mirror. Next to the mirror on the right is a soap dispenser. On the wall that is next to the sink is a hand towel dispenser and below this is a sanitary bin.
Outside Area
This is the outside area of Smith's Alternative, it is directly in front of the venue, with a walk way in between. There is a step down, and a lot of the furniture is big and heavy. However, a mobility aid user could get in there by moving towards Northbourne Avenue (to the right of the image) and going 'around'.
Image description: a bunch of outdoor furniture, with some plants in the background, a large column in the right, top corner.
This is to the left hand side of the outdoor area at Smith's Alternative. As you can see it is open, with no barriers, this could be accessible to mobility aid users.
Image description: A large wooden table with bench chairs is in the right side of the photo. In the background there is paved ground and some garden beds and a road in the background.
What we are doing to make our show more accessible
We ask our audience to consider wearing masks, this makes the show a much safer place for many disabled people who are immunocompromised, or have chemical or other sensitivities. This particularly applies to the performers who often find it hard to wear a mask if they are wearing makeup.
We ask our audience not to wear perfumes, colognes or other types of scents, as many people have chemical sensitivities.
We do not play loud music before, during the break or after the show. We also have gentle lighting, before,during and after the show. This means the venue is low sensory.
You can wear what you want to our shows, as long as you are comfortable, there is no judgement - you can wear your oodie, or you can wear an evening gown. Whatever you like.
Shows are 'relaxed shows'. This means that you can get up and move around, stim, do whatever you need to do, during the show, even if someone is performing.
We offer to have someone or a group of people walk to your transport with you.
We have system whereby you can get help with entering our competitions, or giving feedback, or even buying you a drink (with your money!), if you can't move easily from your chair once the show has started. We use a signalling system for you to get help from one of our crew.
We often have free tickets for those who cannot afford a ticket - contact us if you would like one.
Smith's Alternative now has venues upstairs as well as at ground level. Mobility aid users can access both venues. The front door opens inwards. The furniture is able to be moved around, which means we can move it to accommodate our needs.
If you are a performer, there is a ramp that goes up onto the stage. To get to the toilets, it requires you to go up and down a few steps at the back of the venue OR you go out the front door to the left and then left again down a ramp which takes you to all the toilets.
I am told that not everyone can actually use the disabled toilet on the ground floor, due to the way the door opens and the angles. Some wheelchair users are known to visit a neighbouring venue to go to the toilet in the past.
The Queer Variety Show is held on the ground floor. There is an upstairs space now, with an accessible toilet. The upstairs spaces are accessible via a lift. I will provide information on the accessible toilet soon (need to go in and film and take photos). It is possible the upstairs loo is more accessible for some.
I don't know if what we do is considered Open Captions. We will be project some text onto a film screen. The text includes the performer introductions, so partly what the emcee is saying.
At each show we have a couple of large print programs, in plain english available.
From the 20th of May 2024, we will have an Auslan Interpreter at our shows. They will interpret what the emcee says, and most spoken word art forms. (we are currently in the process of organising the interpreter (have not 100% confirmed for the May show)