The Queer Variety Show
The Queer Variety Show is a variety show that features Queer/LGBTIQA+ and Disabled (includes, chronic illness, mental illness, neurodivergent) people, with the occasional ally.
A map showing where Smith's Alternative is.
We are located on Ngnunnawal/Ngambri country, otherwise known as Canberra, Australia.
The show is held roughly, bi monthly, at Smith's Alternative in Civic.
76 Alinga Street, Canberra City.
By clicking on the information below, it will take you directly to
that part of my website.
Queer Variety Shows for the rest of 2025
Queer Variety Show Presents -
It's a King Thing
Weekend of the 22nd/23rd November
(afternoon or early evening show)
As a part of Smith's Alternative Cabaret Cabal Weekend.
Kings - Sparklemuffin, Ravi Oli, Magnus Magnum, Reggie Cox, Ty Zahn and friends and Rat Bastard.
*please note, we will not have an auslan interpreter for this show.
The Queer Variety Show
Are doing a short show for Smith's Alternative
10th Birthday, on the 11th of October. Details to be confirmed. This will be an afternoon show. Tickets for the entire weekend of shows available from Smith's Altertnative here
*Please note: This show will be very 'stripped back', so we won't have any of the accessbility elements we normally include.
Next show is the 23rd of September 2025
Image description: This is an invitation for the Queer Variety Show. The background is lots of pieces of pasta that are yellow, red, green and orange. It has several text boxes and logos. There is a Smith's Alternative logo, an Arachne Art logo and an ACT Government logo. The text is black in white boxes: Text: The Queer Variety Show, 22nd July, 7pm to 9pm-ish, Smith's Alternative, tickets $20/25.
Our next show is on the 23rd of September. For a relaxed evening of queer entertainment.
This is a relaxed show, feel free to wear whatever you are comfortable in, whether it be your Pjs or an evening gown. It also means you can move around during the show if you need to.
Please consider wearing a mask, to help make the environment safer for disabled people. Similarly, please refrain from wearing perfume/cologne, as some people are allergic to this.
This month our performers are: Velvet Garnet - Emcee, Temerity Outrè, Old Scratch, Parker McKenzie, Ley Ley Grey, Angel Hellyer, Cody Smith, The Lost Larrikin and a film featuring Poetry Pete.
You may be wondering why we have a government logo? We were fortunate to receive funding to support aspects of our show. One of these things being, WE WILL NOW BE HAVING AN AUSLAN INTERPRETER at our shows.
For tickets to our show on the 23rd of September, click here
Performers 23rd September 2025
Poetry Pete (film)
Photo by Robin Ng
Poetry Pete performed at the first Queer Variety Show in 2022 and has not been able to get to perform at a show up until now. The QVS offered Kathy (aka Pete) the opportunity to show the film of them performing in 2022, as a way of participating in the show.
Kathryn Leo is an artist and a writer. She has written several books in the young adult category. She is also a photographer and has exhibited her work in various exhibitions in Canberra.
Image description: Poetry Pete is a white skinned person dressed in 1930, vintage style, drag king. He has white makeup on with rosey cheeks and is wearing black pants, with black suspenders and a white shirt. His black hat is disappearing into the black background. He is standing in front of a microphone and holding papers in his left hand. He is smiling broadly. (end of image description).
Angel Hellyer. They/them
Photo by Nathan J Lester
Local author Angel Hellyer will share how they came to write their YA urban fantasy novel, Just Human (published by Hague Publishing in November 2024) and read the first chapter. Signed copies will be available for purchase.
Image Description:
This is a head and shoulders shot of Angel Hellyer, who is a white skinned person with short dark hair and dark eyes. They have on a red tartan top, underneath a black cardigan. They have long dangly earrings and are looking directly at the camera with a neutral facial expression, the background is a creamy colour. (end of image description)
Parker McKenzie He/they
Meet Parker (he/they) – a singer songwriter weaving honesty, resilience, and the journey of self in to every note. With just his acoustic guitar and a voice that’s equal parts vulnerable and strong, Parker tells stories of identity, loss, survival, and the freedom of becoming who you’re meant to be.
.
Image description: Parker McKenzie is a white skinned person with short blonde and brown hair, blue eyes and facial hair. He is wearing a white top with a black motif on it. They appear to be sitting in their car. The are looking at the camera and smiling slightly. (end of image description)
Temerity Outrè. She/her
Photo by Nathan J Lester
Here to celebrate the game of Kings, the Sacramento Kings that is, our next performer is returning after a break…literally! Ready to tickle your mitt or stoke your bat this babe with a mobility aid is here to make red hats sexy again! It's Temerity Outrè!
Image description:
Temerity Outrè is a white skinned woman with long blonde hair. In this photo she is sitting in her wheelchair and is wearing a baseball themed costume. She has a red, sparkly baseball cap pulled down covering her face, and is wearing a white pinstriped, short sleeved top that has a red word motif at the top and the number 28 in red on the pocket. She has whit lacey leggings on. On her right foot is a black show, her other leg ends about mid calf and she has on her stump a baseball themed pastie. It is round and the ‘tassles’ are tiny baseball bats. She is holding a giant bucket of popcorn. The background is black with blue to her right. (end of image description)
Old Scratch
Photo by A Martian
Old scratch is a white skinned man with long blonde messy hair and pale eyes, he has a moustache. He is wearing a black,red, grey and cream coloured tartan jacket. He has black pants and a black shirt, with red suspenders on. The image is at an angle, he is looks like he is looking just over your right shoulder, with and angry expression, he has his right hand up as if he is about to point and the fingers on his other hand are closed in with his hand just in view on his left, near his stomach. (end of image description).
He’s dirty old man of your… dreams. Specifically, the ones you don’t talk about. Class is for people who don’t already know everything, Grace is the granddaughter that won’t return his calls and personal grooming is entirely a matter of subjective opinion. He’s intriguing, he’s engaging and he’s got a very important message from beyond the stars. For your New Itch he’s Old Scratch.
The Lost Larrikin
Photo by Robin Ng
The Lost Larrikin goes by he/they pronouns. He is a proud disabled, trans masc storyteller, performer, artists and activist, born and raised on Ngnunnawal/Ngambri land. He likes to perform a mix of original songs and covers, mostly somewhere in the genre space of folk-adjacent indie-pop.
Image description: The Lost Larrikin is standing with a microphone in front of them. He is playing a cream coloured guitar. They have pale skin, short dark hair and dark eyes, they are looking intently outwards as they sing. He is wearing a short sleeved, printed dark coloured shirt with braces and blue jeans. The background is black. (end of image description)
Ley Ley Grey
LeyLeyGrey is a performer from the NT who specializes in rap and comedic songs and dances. Tonight she will be performing one of Kendrick Lamar's hit songs TV Off. After her performance, feel free to purchase extra tickets for the show because she has a lot of student debt and not a lot of money. If you like her cover of this song, Kendrick Lamar is coming to Canberra in December but tickets are sold out so she is the best you will get if you didn't spend upwards of $200 for a ticket to Spilt Milk back in May.
Image description: This is a soft focused black and white photo of Ley Ley Grey, a light skinned person, squatting down on a patterned rug. She is wearing a dark coloured cap backwards and dark coloured clothes with canvas shoes. She has one hand resting on her knee and the other is holding a microphone to her mouth. (end of image description)
Velvet Garnet - Emcee
Photo by Nathan J Lester
Image description: Velvet Garnet, an olive-skinned woman of full figure, holds a microphone and speaks on a stage. She wears a white jacket, black skirt and huge black-rimmed glasses. Her shirt, shoes and tights are alternating black and white. She has a red bow-tie. Her hair is also black and white. The photo is in the centre of a Queer Variety Show branded frame. (end of image description)
Putting the trans into transgressive, the ADD into adorable and the ace into resting bitch face. Our next performer is Canberran, Cute, Quirky, queer and corrosive. Get ready to watch in black and white. Here’s Velvet Garnet.
Accessibility
Canberra does not have many accessible and affordable venues to host events at. We acknowledge this and we are doing our best to add accessible elements wherever possible. We receive no funding to do this. Our show is run on the amount of tickets sold, and our performers are prioritised as far as payment is concerned. Each show has several volunteers that help us run it. The producers are rarely paid for their many hours of effort.
If there is anything you think we can do to improve accessibility, please let us know and we will do our best. Nigel and Beth the owners of Smith's Alternative are very supportive and do some parts of hosting a show, which adds to the accessbility of the show for the producers. Nigel and Beth are nearly always around to help out which is also very helpful.
Film Clips
The following is film clips of the venue for purposes of accessibility. Watching these may cause motion sickness for some. Photos coming soon for folks who can't access the film clips. Pardon the shakiness in parts, that's my disability in action.
Clicking on the links (which are underlined) will take you to a new tab, and a clip on You Tube.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
This toilet is more accessible than the downstairs toilet for mobility aid users. In most cases there will be a show or an event on upstairs, so you can go on up there. However there might be times when there is no event. Ask the bar staff before heading up, just in case.
For performers these films will be of use, however I have a separate clip specifically for you, which I am not going to list here, as it shows backstage area of Smith's Alternative. I can send you a link if you email me.
If you are unable to watch film clips, there are photographs below with information.
Entering the building and event room where the Queer Variety show is held.
This is the entry into Smith's Alternative. There is a small wooden ramp. The door opens inwards.
Image Description: A doorway with brown wooden doors and a big long brass handle. One door is open. The ground on the outside of the doorway is tiled. There is a small wooden ramp leading up to the door opening.
This is just inside the main door entry of Smith's Alternative. To the left is the bar area, to the right is an area with some couches. There is a step up to the area with the couches. The main door to the toilets is at the back of the room. The door/entry into another room is just past this entry to the right. This area can get quite congested just before an event.
Image description: A room with a bar on the left and some furniture on the right. The floor is black and white Lino.
This is the entry to the room where many shows are held. The person who checks peoples tickets, usually stands at a small table to the left of this doorway when you enter.
Image description: To the right is a wall with lots of posters on it and furniture in front of it. Looking through the doorway, there is a bunch of chairs and a small step up to the left. The stage with a screen down is just visible.
Image description: A room with an array of different chairs and tables. There is a red bit of floor to the right, this is a gentle ramp going up to the side of the stage. The stage is in the distance, there is a screen hanging down on the stage.
This is an overall view of the main show space, just after you walk through the door. Not quite visible is an area that is slightly raised to the left, with and array of seating and tables. To the right there is also an array of seating, including many couches and soft seating.
Seating can be and is arranged differently depending on what event is being held and how many tickets are sold. If sold out, the seating is usually in rows and fairly jam packed. In the right of this image there is a red ramp.
Wheel chair users can go up the red ramp and sit facing it. The furniture behind them is usually arranged in rows, all facing the ramp (facing the stage).
Image description: A room with a bunch of chairs on the left, a red ramp to the right of the chairs and further furniture next to the red ramp.
Getting to the downstairs toilets
To get to the toilets, you go through the red door in the first room, that the bar is in. This is not accessible to mobility aid users, as there are three steps on the other side of it.
Image description: An image of a room that has a black and white checked Lino floor. There is a wall on the left with some furniture and other furniture and some curtains on the right. In the middle of the photo is a red door with 'toilets' written on it.
To access the disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you go through the glass doors you will see a lift right in front of you, to the left of that is a some stairs to the right is a ramp with a red railing. This is where you go to access the disabled (and other) toilets.
Image description: A picture of a ramp that is the floor sloping downwards. The floor is dark grey and the wall is white, there is a red railing against the wall.
As you go down the ramp you will see the men's toilets on the left (there is a couple of steps down to them). At the bottom of the ramp you will see some steps ahead of you, this leads back into Smith's Alternative, to the left is the entry to the disabled toilet and the women's toilets. The door to the disabled toilet opens outwards.
Image description: A photo of a grey door, with white walls around it and a grey floor.
The accessible toilet is quite small and the corners that you need to turn to get into it are also quite narrow. Some people are not able to access it, due to the angles and the size of the toilet.
Image description: An accessible toilet room. The walls are white there is a white toilet on the left hand side of the room. There is a rail that starts behind the toilet and runs around to the left side of the toilet. Just visible is a hand washing basin on the left side of the image.
This is the side wall of the disabled toilet. You can just see the toilet in the bottom right hand side.
Image description: a photo of a toilet /bathroom. There is a white hand basin in the left corner, a rail that is along the wall, a sanitary bin and the edge of the toilet in the right corner.
Entry to the upstairs accessible toilet
To access the upstairs disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you enter the glass doors there will be a lift in front of you.
The inside of the lift is small. Probably only a couple of metres square.
You may need to enter the lift forwards and back out, there is not much room in there to turn around. I was not about to take photos of the inside because it was too small.
Image description: A close up of two metal lift doors.
When you get out of the lift (on the first floor) you turn left. You go through the red door to get into the various upstairs Smith's Alternative venues. The door opens towards you. In most cases I expect that if the venue is open the door will also be open.
Image description:
An entry into a room. The floor is black and white checkered lino. The red door is opened outwards. You can see into a hall way. There is a small table against a wall with things on it and a picture hanging on the wall with a black camera tripod in front of it, directly after the open doorway, to the left there is a corridor.
The accessible toilet is along the corridor to the left. The door opens inwards. The room is spacious enough to go in and shut the door. There are railings next to the toilet and behind the toilet on the left.
Image description:
Looking into a toilet room. There is a dark coloured door on the left, which is open and against the wall. On the back wall of the white painted room, on the right is a toilet. Next to the toilet there is a wall with a railing. There is a railing on the left side of the toilet. In the left corner of the toilet is a chair.
This view is taken from standing near the toilet and facing the doorway and sink area. The sink is at a height for non disabled people. However it is not really high and is probably able to be reached from a seated position.
Image description:
A white sink in the corner of a public bathroom. Above it is a mirror. Next to the mirror on the right is a soap dispenser. On the wall that is next to the sink is a hand towel dispenser and below this is a sanitary bin.
Outside Area
This is the outside area of Smith's Alternative, it is directly in front of the venue, with a walk way in between. There is a step down, and a lot of the furniture is big and heavy. However, a mobility aid user could get in there by moving towards Northbourne Avenue (to the right of the image) and going 'around'.
Image description: a bunch of outdoor furniture, with some plants in the background, a large column in the right, top corner.
This is to the left hand side of the outdoor area at Smith's Alternative. As you can see it is open, with no barriers, this could be accessible to mobility aid users.
Image description: A large wooden table with bench chairs is in the right side of the photo. In the background there is paved ground and some garden beds and a road in the background.
What we are doing to make our show more accessible
We ask our audience to consider wearing masks, this makes the show a much safer place for many disabled people who are immunocompromised, or have chemical or other sensitivities. This particularly applies to the performers who often find it hard to wear a mask if they are wearing makeup.
We ask our audience not to wear perfumes, colognes or other types of scents, as many people have chemical sensitivities.
We do not play loud music before, during the break or after the show. We also have gentle lighting, before,during and after the show. This means the venue is low sensory.
You can wear what you want to our shows, as long as you are comfortable, there is no judgement - you can wear your oodie, or you can wear an evening gown. Whatever you like.
Shows are 'relaxed shows'. This means that you can get up and move around, stim, do whatever you need to do, during the show, even if someone is performing.
We offer to have someone or a group of people walk to your transport with you.
We have system whereby you can get help with entering our competitions, or giving feedback, or even buying you a drink (with your money!), if you can't move easily from your chair once the show has started. We use a signalling system for you to get help from one of our crew.
We often have free tickets for those who cannot afford a ticket - contact us if you would like one.
Smith's Alternative now has venues upstairs as well as at ground level. Mobility aid users can access both venues. The front door opens inwards. The furniture is able to be moved around, which means we can move it to accommodate our needs.
If you are a performer, there is a ramp that goes up onto the stage. To get to the toilets, it requires you to go up and down a few steps at the back of the venue OR you go out the front door to the left and then left again down a ramp which takes you to all the toilets.
I am told that not everyone can actually use the disabled toilet on the ground floor, due to the way the door opens and the angles. Some wheelchair users are known to visit a neighbouring venue to go to the toilet in the past.
The Queer Variety Show is held on the ground floor. There is an upstairs space now, with an accessible toilet. The upstairs spaces are accessible via a lift. I will provide information on the accessible toilet soon (need to go in and film and take photos). It is possible the upstairs loo is more accessible for some.
I don't know if what we do is considered Open Captions. We will be project some text onto a film screen. The text includes the performer introductions, so partly what the emcee is saying.
At each show we have a couple of large print programs, in plain english available.
From the 20th of May 2024, we will have an Auslan Interpreter at our shows. They will interpret what the emcee says, and most spoken word art forms. (we are currently in the process of organising the interpreter (have not 100% confirmed for the May show)